Learning to Say No

 Hello my loves! Happy first day of Spring, we made it, we made it!  I've been thinking about the level of happiness that I have been able to achieve within my marriage, work, family and life in general and Ive been trying to break that happiness down into the tangible steps I took to get the life I wanted.  So I thought about it and it started about seven years ago, picture it..an MMA boxing gym in the Bronx (it's a Golden Girl reference in case you missed it, lol..ahh whatevs) ok so I had just ended  an unhealthy relationship that carried on, off and on, for five years when I joined this gym that truly changed my life (its where I met my husband).  I met these two career oriented, educated women who took me in as their sparring partner and friend. One Saturday morning as we are packing up after a good workout, I started whining about agreeing to hang out that night with a friend.  I went on and on about being tired, having a long week and just wanting to have a night in bed curled up with my son watching some Jennifer Aniston movies.  My friend stopped me mid-rant and said, "Erica, if you don't want to go, don't go.  Tell your friend you aren't up for it and thats it.  She will understand."  Now this might be a bad example cause it would seem like I left my friend high and dry but actually I was tagging along with her and her girlfriends, so no harm, no foul.  But it dawned on me, why do I say yes to things I don't want to do only to stress and agonize about it?  And it occurred to me, this was a pattern I needed to break.  Seriously.  Why didn't I listen to myself? Why didn't I think what I wanted was worthy?  Why did I allow people (and boyfriends) to subtlety bully me into doing what they wanted me to do?  To be nice?  To have them like me?  So they wouldn't be mad at me?  Understanding these fears and breaking them done to their worst conclusions like, what if I say no to this person they won't be my friend anymore? Ok well if that is the reason they don't want to be my friend, then bye Felicia, bye!  I started small, I canceled on my friend and told her why, she totally understood and wished she could cancel too.  lol  Then I practiced saying no at the workplace, to my family and my friends.  Each no, made me more and more confident.  I began to really listen to myself and value my feelings instead of rationalizing and justifying why I should just go with the flow.  A wonderful thing started happening, my circle of friends got smaller but in a good way.  The friends who didn't respect me or felt threatened by my new found confidence melted away and faded into the background.  Do you know who was left?  The friends who really loved, respected and continue to help me grow into who I am becoming.  And I couldn't be happier, because your circle is everything.  It is your reality so if your circle is filled with negativity and self hate, guess what your reality will be?  Choose wisely and learn to say yes to yourself my loves!  You are soooo worth it! I promise.  

Cause who doesn't love a blooper!?!?!? OMG so the hubby and I did this shoot today after work (ps, thankful for longer days) and we stood local, we ran into three people we knew in like a ten minute shoot!  Hahahahaha, here I am spotting one of my husband's students coming down the stairs..

Exact Blazer (only $10!!!!)

Similar White Pants

Similar Snake Skin Print Satchel

Zara blouse was thrifted, have you checked out www.thredup.com yet, copy and paste this link to get $10 off your first purchase!! http://www.thredup.com/r/NCNHPX

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by LifeStyledbyErica 💋