Self Confidence at Any Age!



Hello again!  So this past weekend the hubby and I shot with two of his high school students, Hailey and Evelyn.  It was a fun shoot at Untermeyer Gardens  and I was able to chat them up for some ideas for the post.  These ladies are smart, charming and going places.  But I know that they, like all of us, struggle with confidence.  I mean how could we not?  We are constantly bombarded with images and depictions of women who look nothing like any woman we have ever seen in the mirror or in real life for that matter!  The beauty/hollywood industry seems to go out of their way to send us messages that we, as we are, pores, pimples, belly rolls and all are not enough! They have products to sell so it is in their interest to make us unhappy with ourselves, that's business baby.  Well my friends, I am here to tell you, we soo ARE!  Now I will say this, I have never been afraid of aging and I actually enjoy the process, I don't enjoy the Friday night fatigue so much, lol, but aging i.e. crow's feet, laugh lines, etc is not scary to me.  Now that doesn't mean that I don't take care of my body where it is right now, for instance, working out and staying active is just a part of me.  It's part of my lifestyle and I love how I feel when I work out, its really one of the best feelings on earth.  No lie!  In my 20's I worked out to fit into a mold that I thought I should fit into, in my 30's I realized a few things.  I think we ALL suffer from lack of self confidence, men and women alike, but I would like to focus on the woman's experience just cause, for obvious reasons, I can relate.  😊 Now my take on self confidence is not the worshipping of our exterior selves, we are so much more than our vessels,  its in the nourishing  of our interior.  What does that mean?  Well, you might say I am beautiful (why thank you) but I challenge why you might think that.  What I am exuding is happiness and love, that fills my life and makes me grateful everyday.  That is coming from within.  I question our standards of beauty and what we have been taught to believe is beautiful, sorry I am just not into being spoon fed.  With that being said, I do see beauty in everything and everyone around me. Seriously I do.  I believe beauty comes from within and is shown to the world in how we interact with others.  So let's dive in, shall we?

1) Mindfulness: This is geared to the mommies out there raising little ladies.  I know we don't mean to do this, cause the reality is the process of figuring things out doesn't stop when you become a parent.  We are flawed and riddled with insecurities, even as parents (shocker).  Here is where the mindfulness comes in, our children don't know (at least not at until they are about 14, teenagers!) that we don't know everything. To them we are the most beautiful person in their small worlds.  If we are focused on our flaws and constantly, sometimes when we aren't even aware of it, putting ourselves down they absorb this tendency.  It is now their normal.  Lets try to be mindful around them, cause life is hard enough without seeing the person you love the most put herself down.  Mommies, we deserve better. :)

2) Find comfort in knowing WE ALL have insecurities:  You read that right, we ALL have insecurities.  Even the most gorgeous woman you can think of on any platform you can imagine instagram, tv, the big screen or in that glossy fashion magazine (by society's standards, cause what is beauty anyway??) she has something that she doesn't like about herself.  It's true, it's  universal and do you know why??? Cause we are human beings, not polished statues.  We age, we gain weight, we loose weight, we break out, we have bad hair days, we can't put an outfit together to save our lives.  We all have that in common, if that doesn't bring you some comfort maybe my next point will.

3) Who the hell cares anyway???:  You know I had a gala a few weeks ago and I was complimented to high heaven.  I was dressed to the nines as they say and I won't say I didn't enjoy the attention or the compliments but it got me thinking.  There is such a double standard (amongst MANY, MANY gender double standards), my boss who attended the event with me, had to rent a tuxedo and cut his hair, that was it!  I, on the other hand, had to worry about my makeup, hair, nails, dress, heels, spanx..the list went on and on. I could not wait to rip (or take off carefully since it was a rental, lol) that dress off.  The truth is I am most confident when I am being 100% myself and myself is a casual gal who likes to walk around bare foot with her hair up in a messy bun.  That is ME.   Don't misunderstand me, I love fashion, but I love it more when it is comfortable, natural, effortless and expresses how I am feeling that day.  I don't like to pancake my face with "beat", I don't like to look overdone, less has always been more in my book.  And really, when you are comfortable with yourself, you are stunning and naturally attractive to everyone.  I promise!

4) Get out of your head:  Ok this might sound a little harsh but I am going to bring it home so just hang in there.  There is so much beauty around us, I mean everywhere, the friends and family we have, the love we share with them, the nature that surrounds us, hell the planet we live on! So much to focus your attention on why waste that time focused on ourselves? It seems so small, doesn't it?  No one wants that small of a space to live in, so get out of there.  Enjoy the life you have, go be beautiful and confident in what you have to offer to this world.  Haven't figured that out?  Well, thats what you should focus on, "what do I have to offer this world? How can I shine some light in the corner that I occupy?".  Do that instead of beating yourself down about your weight, your lifeless hair, or your chubby ankles and I promise good things will happen.  I have lived long enough to know that the days I feel the most confident and beautiful are when I am helping out a student, or doing something for my family, or even taking my dog out for a longer than usual walk.  Service to others is a great confidence booster and THAT is what you should focus on!





About these looks, I wanted a simple denim look 😃 so I asked the ladies to style an outfit around a denim jacket.  Evelyn decided to pair her denim jacket with a black body con tie-up dress from Garage, similar here .  Hailey and I showed with with floral print both from Forever21.  My romper is about 2 years old, sorry guys, but I have linked similar version here, and a cute short version here.  Lastly my current go-to, favorite pink suede mules that I scored for an incredibly- low- price- and-come-in-a-million-colors-but -you- have- to- click- to- find- out -how- low-and-how-many-colors, can only be found here . K, I am out of breath.

Love you guys.  Thanks for reading and for supporting my dreams!  Like, for real.

Until next time, XOXO

by LifestyledbyErica



12 comments

  1. Very inspiring read. Its so easy to talk about self confidence but much harder to put these practices into place. I think you've given people a lot to think about.

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    1. Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment Emily. :)

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  2. Most people are not really looking at us closely anyway. When I think of people I know, my memories are more of their essence and they always look great. Thank you for spreading this message about confidence. It is greatly needed.

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    1. Thank you Linda! I just read your post, Bad Mood Busters and I loved it! I agree that there are things we can do to help get out of a slump. :) My first go to is treating myself to a favorite specialty coffee, it gives me something to look forward to on my commute to work. :)

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  3. Such great advice! I totally agree! There is often such a double standard, but as long as you are comfortable, confidence is much more easily attained!

    xo, chelsea catherine | www.xochelseacatherine.com

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    1. Thanks Chelsea! Its important to debunk the things that we accept as facts..something like beauty and people's perception of what beauty is and whether they fit into it, is so limiting. We are so much more than our appearance.. Let's champion and raise awareness of that!

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  4. This is such a wonderful mindset to adopt. We focus so much on our insecurities we forget to love ourselves. I do like taking care of my skin and getting dressed up for special occasions but I think it is SO important to remember that we are SO much more than how we look.

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    1. Exactly!! Thank you for such insightful feedback. :)

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  5. Getting out of my own head is probably what I struggle with the most. I overthink everything I say and do. It's such a bad habit.

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    1. Hi Logan! Listen it is a common struggle for all of us. Awareness is key cause only then you can shift the conversation in your head. We have to start believing in ourselves, we are smart, we are capable, we are powerful, we are emotional, we are sensitive, we are thinkers..we are ALL those things and none of it is bad. We have never been taught to accept and love ourselves where we are at, and we need to start thinking that way.

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  6. Thanks for such a great read! It definitely changes as you get older and getting out of your head is the best advice!
    Neelofar | The Loveliest Lily
    www.theloveliestlily.com

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    1. Hi Neelofar! So true! Age has a lot to do with self love and acceptance and not caring what others think. :) XOXO

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