My Husband, Michael

I got the idea to pen this some time ago after reading "You May Want to Marry My Husband" in the Modern Love column of, where else, The New York Times.  It is sort of a dating profile written by a wife who after being married for 26 years, and raising three children discovers she is dying of ovarian cancer.  It brings me to tears every.single.time I read it.  Here is why.  I am a romantic to the very core.  I feel things very strongly, other people's pain but also their happiness too.  It also strikes a cord with me because I married my husband "late" in life, a second marriage for both of us, but before I met this man that I was fortunate enough to meet and fall deeply and madly in love with, I had given up! I remember, it was just three short months before I met my husband that I cried in my mother's lap and declared that maybe love just wasn't for me.  It would be just me and my son and that would have to be ok.  She comforted me, of course, and assured me there was someone out there who was probably at this very moment thinking he would never meet anyone either.  She was sure we would meet each other, fall in love and live happily ever after.  I didn't believe my mother, I wanted to, but I was too jaded.  Too many "bad" guys in my life to ever be able to envision a good one that was worth me sticking around for.

Enter Michael stage left. 

When I first laid eyes on Michael I was smitten.  We met at a gym in the Bronx called Musuko's MMA and Boxing gym.  The first thing  I saw was his beautiful brown eyes.  Sounds cliché but if you know Michael you will know what I am saying is true.  He smiles with his eyes.  I remember feeling 100% safe around him, protected.  I had never felt that around another man, not saying that I hung out with the swarthy type, but I always felt like they all had an angle to play, I never felt that way around Michael.  I just didn't.  He always seemed to just genuinely enjoy me, my conversation, my quirkiness, just me. (tip for my single ladies, if you ever check in with yourself when you are around a guy you are dating or thinking about dating and you feel safe, thats a keeper!) While we were dating I would often define Michael as "the best human being I had ever met" and I STILL believe that today.  We fell fast and hard for one another.  It was the stuff that romance novels and lifetime movies are made of.  Truly.  And when he asked me to marry him after a year of dating I said YES, check out the video here.  No really, you are going to want to look at this video!  This man loves hard...and thats good cause, so do I.

We planned our wedding together and we were a team.  We barely disagreed on any of the plans except for one..the wedding cake topper. Michael wanted an old fashion, 1980's plastic wedding party climbing stairs..yeah it was a definite NO, in my book.  That was it.  That was what we argued about.  I loved him then but I had no idea how much more I would come to love him nearly four years into our marriage.  (While I write this my tears are welling up. I told you I am a big ole romantic).  Allow me to elaborate on what has taken me collectively 7 years to truly understand about the man I married, my husband, Michael.

1)  He is THE most honest person I have ever met! Sometimes to a fault, like for example, when I woke up one morning upset about a dream I had the night before of him having sex with another woman in front of me and his honest response was, "who was the woman?"  I wanted to hit him on the head with a pillow but instead I bursted into laughter because that is Michael.  He says what he thinks, honestly, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

2) He makes life fun!  I mean it.  I can come home after we both had a long day at work and he always asks, "so what do you want to do tonight?"  I don't know why, but I love that question, it makes it feel like our options are limitless, there is nothing off the table! Although it normally means (because we are both exhausted and have to work the next day) cuddling up, watching some show on tv or a movie on netflix.

3) He hides things around the house to surprise me with at THE perfect time!  More often than not, and maybe this should be part of number 2 "he makes life fun", but at any moment he will turn to me and say, "I have a surprise for you". To which the five year old girl that lives within me smiles from ear to ear and bursts out, "what is it??"  I love that about him.  He surprises me all the time.  And it can be as small as chocolate covered pretzels or some other swoon worthy snack, a plant, or a perfectly planned surprise birthday party to reveal my real surprise which is a trip to Paris, like he did for my birthday last year.   Anything that I might have mentioned in passing or that he sees and thinks I might like, no matter the cost, he will get for me.  Can I say, in seven years, he has never missed the mark.  I love that about him.

4) He is fiercely loyal.  I mean that.  He protects my heart. Nurtures it.  Four months after we were married I started an accelerated graduate school program.  The two year program broke me one hundred million times, you know who NEVER lost faith in me? Michael.  Did I mention a week into the program we were told by our landlord that we would have to move our entire family?  Yeah, I remember saying, well I guess I have to postpone grad school, I can't let you handle finding a place and moving us by yourself.  To which Michael replied, no, you aren't postponing grad school.  I will handle everything.  He believes in me.  He is always proud of me and I could never be able to thank him enough.

5) Micheal gives THE best hugs.  I am a hug addict. The more hugs I get from Michael, the more I want.  There are moments when I am so bothered by, I don't exactly know what, can you feel me ladies? and the only thing that can calm me is a hug from Michael.  I sometimes run downstairs into the "mancave" to use the bathroom and catch a glimpse of Michael playing a video game and I am overcome with the urge to crawl into his arms, between the remote he is holding and just get a hug.  To which he NEVER gets angry or annoyed, he will just pause the game and let me hug him and hug me back for however long that might be.  For no reason, just a hug.  I can't tell you how that feeds my soul.

6) Did I mention how patient Michael is?  OMG he is probably the most patient person I know, really he is and I guess I would know cause I have been told by several people that one needs a lot of patience to "deal" with me.  But that is just it. Michael doesn't "deal" with me.  He loves me.  I know he does cause I am the kind of person who sings along to songs in the car with no regard to key or song lyrics like I was singing FO' MY LIFE!  I leave cups all around the house, dirty tupperware in the sink, bury my ice cold feet under his thigh in bed at night and will often interrupt him in the middle of a show, a book or a game to show him a video that made me laugh or cry and without hesitation or rush and with real interest, he watches with me.  And sometimes as we watch together, me sitting on his lap a tear will stream down his cheek from a love story we have just witnessed together.  Or in my not so sweet moments when I have turned into a monster when I haven't eaten or I am tired.  I will nag and nag about a dish in the sink or shoes on the floor and try to pick a fight (I don't know why) and do you know how Michael reacts?  He doesn't.  He says, (and I am not kidding, this JUST happened on Friday night), he says with a bit of a chuckle, ok babe, you are tired, how about you take a shower and get into bed.  I will take care of that.  And the best part, he holds no grudges!  Ever.  Sometimes, like this past Saturday, I will wake up feeling awful about the argument I tried to pick the night before and text him to apologize and he will respond with a GIF (below) and an "at least you are a cute monster."

I can write all night about this husband of mine named Michael, how he lights up a room and my life.  He is still the best human being I have ever met and more so after almost four years of marriage.  He makes me believe that anything is possible.  Anything at all.  I love that about him.  Happy V-Day my love!  Cheers to 100 more valentines together! 💓💓💓💓

LifeStyledbyErica