Do you love horror as much as I do?  Horror was one of the things my mother and I had in common.  We loved a great horror movie!  Now before you cast any judgement she, like many parents, tried to shield my young and impressionable eyes from anything scary for as long as she could until one day my sister and I wore her down.  She decided if we insisted on watching a scary movie she would show us THE scariest movie ever made! The movie that caused many adults endless nights filled with nightmares after its release in theaters, The Exorcist!  Have you heard of it, of course you have! They have made a million versions of The Exorcist but I am referring to the Linda Blair version released in 1973.  We all sat down in the living room in the middle of a Saturday afternoon when my mother pressed play on the VCR but not before she said to us(she loves building up the drama, something else we have in common), " I warned you, this is the scariest movie ever made! Remember you asked for this so if you have nightmares it isn't my fault!"  (I might be making some of that up, I mean I was a kid but you get the gist.)  My sister and I sat on the sofa together, nervous about what we were about to watch, my mother watched for our reactions with pressed lips.  Well, I don't want to build too much drama here but lets just say we pissed my mother off when we started laughing our butts off as Linda Blair's head turned a full 360 degrees.  After my mother got over her initial anger at our silliness she and I became horror movie buddies.  My sister dropped out of the horror movie club after The Exorcist so it was something my mother and I would do together, just the two of us.  My mother and I followed The Exorcist with one of my all time favorite horror films, A Nightmare on Elm Street, the 1984 version of course!

I am prefacing this post with that story to set my credentials.  I have been watching horror for years, so I know a good one from a bad one.  I don't think horror should be reserved for fall or halloween but I understand we gravitate to the genre as the days get shorter, the nights grow longer, the temperature drops, and the trees are barren, its time to get cozy.  We all know the "classics" some I have already mentioned, Halloween, Friday the 13th, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so I am not going to bore you with listing movies that are on everyone's "scariest horror movies" list.  Now this list might include one or two movies you have heard of but I am positive you will find at least one or two you have never heard of cause I have been doing my research!  So without further adieu and in no particular order, my TOP 6 Scariest Horror Movies of ALL TIME:

1. The Babadook

2. The Strangers 

3. The Shining 

4. Veronica

5. Inside 

6. Martyrs 

Fall is here and yes that means pumpkin lattes, chunky knits, over the knee boots and berets but colder air also means less moisture in the air which can lead to dry, patchy skin, at least for me it does. I have sensitive skin with some redness around my cheeks.  I have to be careful with the products I use all year round but my skin is especially vulnerable in the fall and winter.  In order to combat that  I switch up my skin care routine to meet the demands of the winter air.  Today I want to share those products along with some skin care tips.

You might have noticed from the description in my instagram bio that I am pivoting from defining myself as a fashion blogger into something that has deeper meaning for me.   For a long time, probably since I started this blog, I questioned what I wanted to offer my readers and whether or not it was true to who I was.  Yes, I love fashion. No, I don't live to shop nor do I want to seduce you into buying what I am wearing, although I am happy to share. 💕 Yes, I love skincare and beauty. No, I don't love to spend half my mortgage on it.  I craved to create a space of honesty, vulnerability and self love.  Throughout this blogging journey the posts I have loved to write the most are the ones that challenged me, scared me and in many ways healed me.  I worried what others might think and how their perceptions of me might change after reading my stories of being a teen mom with an abusive boyfriend or whether or not I could share a piece of my story as a sexual abuse survivor or my struggle prioritizing my health and gyn visits.  Turns out those are the posts you love the most.  They are raw and honest and connect us in ways that seem so important now.  I would receive messages like, "oh my god, I had no idea", or "wow, you have been through so much" or "thank you for sharing, your story has helped me" and it made my heart smile.

We are a full year past the #metoo movement and just last week a Supreme Court nominee accused of sexual assault was sworn into the U.S. Supreme Court following a public, televised hearing the world was watching.  It can deflate, stigmatize and further isolate survivors.  I know now more than ever what my purpose is in this online space.  I am an educated, professional career woman, happily married with an adult son who is a US Marine, a teenage stepson and a beautiful pup named Timmy.  I am a full 8 years past the trauma of abusive relationships and in the most healthy and fulfilling relationship of my life but I will never be completely healed of the trauma I endured and still suffer with the residue of those experiences.  I am safe, loved and finally in a place in my life where I can share my stories with women and men who are currently suffering through abuse or beginning to heal from it.

I understand above all that happiness and mental well being is an inside job and it starts with prioritizing yourself, feeding your body and soul with goodness everyday.  I will continue to work on sharing stories that make me feel uncomfortable but know are important and meaningful to you in an effort to break the stigma of a victim of abuse.  And I won't just be sharing those stories, I also care deeply about mental health issues and breaking those stigmas.    I will share my own struggles with self love and body positivity because I believe all of these are connected.   I will share affirmations and daily inspiration that inspire me to love myself exactly the way I am in the hopes that it will inspire you to love yourself too.  I hope you will continue to follow me on this journey and know you have a friend in me.  I know the pain. I know the loneliness. I also know there is light ahead.

For anyone currently suffering through abuse please know you aren't alone.  It isn't your fault.  You are deserving of a life filled with happiness and love.  You can still thrive and live a life of intention and purpose.

Please follow along on my journey by subscribing to my blog and for daily inspiration follow me on instagram.

By LifeStyledbyErica

Hello lovies! If you follow me on instagram, you don't? Do it now by clicking here. Ok so I am always sharing movies I am watching, music I am loving, books I am currently reading, podcasts I can't get enough of and all of life's in-between's on my instastories.  There is so much media and entertainment to consume it can feel overwhelming so I love getting recommendations from people and I thought you might too! As we know unless you mark them as a highlight, instastories are gone in 24 hours which I guess makes sense so I thought why not a more permanent home, like say MY BLOG! Let's jump in.

Current Podcast: Serial 

Currently Reading: No One Cares About Crazy People

Currently in the Theaters: A Star is Born

Currently Listening to: A Star is Born Soundtrack

Currently On Netflix: Nappily Ever After

Currently Purchased: 

I think I will leave it there so I can save something for the next installation of "currently in". Until next time, don't forget to subscribe to the blog and follow along on instagram.

Until next time,

By LifeStyledbyErica

The last two weeks have been really tough for me and countless of other survivors of sexual assault, domestic and emotional abuse.  I, like many others, was glued to Dr. Ford's testimony of her sexual assault at the hands of Supreme Court nominee Kavanaugh.  Needless to say but I will anyway, I believe her.  I have shared with you my experience with surviving trauma in this post a little over a year ago.  I also shared bits of that relationship in my I am a Bad Mom series but that was just the first relationship I had.  I had a second significant relationship that lasted on and off for about 5 years.  Not only was it 100% dysfunctional, it was also emotionally and sexually abusive.  I won't go into too many details in this post because if I am honest I have not taken the time to unpack the trauma I experienced.  I am a full eight years "past" it and in a loving relationship with my husband, a new life, a fresh start when I was contacted by his current ex girlfriend and the woman with whom he shares a child with last weekend and realized how easily the memories and trauma came flooding back.

As I said before I don't want to go into too much detail but I do want to highlight some of my experience in this relationship because emotional abuse isn't always what we think it might be.  A man or woman yelling, cursing and degrading you privately and in front of others, although that happens too. Abusers aren't always raging alcoholics or drug addicts, although sometimes they are.  They are respected and well liked by others.  They are your neighbors, your co-workers, your classmates, they are your relatives.  They are people you admire. They are well educated and have great careers.   Unlike my first relationship, I was not scared of my abusive boyfriend at least not for my physical safety.   The abuse I endured was often subtle at times and it can be hard to point out while you are living it.  I know that was the case for me and why this relationship lasted for nearly five years off and on.   My ex was addicted to pornography (he would watch hours and hours of porn a day and even make his own videos by cutting and pasting parts from his favorite videos), this "past time" desensitized him and made me a sexual object.  He had unrealistic expectations based on what he was watching.   He was insidiously manipulative and never took anything I said at its face value.  He was convinced that I never meant what I said and he had to decode it for me.  Can you begin to imagine how frustrating that can be?  When he couldn't get a "win" he would say things to break me down.  He knew my abusive past and would use it against me.  He constantly called me insecure and damaged.  He tried to convince me my feelings about our relationship were just residual feelings   from past relationships I was projecting in my current relationship with him.  And while it is true that my relationships were abusive, what I was now experiencing was equally abusive.  His failure to accept his actions and responsibilities distorted and minimized my experience and feelings.

As one would imagine a person like I have just described would be incapable of accepting the relationship is over.  He didn't respect the boundaries I placed on him.  I asked him to not contact me, or stop by my home or job.  He didn't respect any of those requests.  He would call and text all the time, I had to block him.  He would stop by my apartment and make a scene when I wouldn't let him in.  I lived there alone with my son.  It was scary.  He would send emails, dm's, he even joined the gym I started attending.  Things got weird.  He didn't admit to joining my gym to get close to me, instead he lied, per usual.  He would make up excuses and emergencies to get me to reach out to him. None of it was true.  Getting this man out of my life was difficult and not because I couldn't get over him but because he refused to believe it was over.  So when his new, ex girlfriend reached out I wasn't surprised to hear that nothing had changed.  He had just transferred his energy and time into a new "victim".  At first when I read her message I was conflicted.  Do I want to invite this drama into my life?  Do I really want to befriend this woman or get involved in their business.  The answer to those questions were no, but I sensed her desperation and it reminded me of myself all those years ago.  It can be very isolating and not a lot of people really understand the damage unless they have experienced the pain.  So I returned the message.  I assured her she wasn't crazy and this was definitely a pattern.  He had convinced her our breakup was mutual and we ended on great terms.  I assured her that wasn't true either.

We just exchanged a few messages and she thanked me for responding.  She said it made her feel sane.  Those short exchanges haunted me for a few days.  I felt great compassion for this woman, her child and the long road they have ahead.  I also felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude.  Grateful for the life I now have with a man who treats me with unconditional love, respect and patience.

I am sharing this because I know how important it is to read these stories when you are in the thick of it.  I know it is hard but it has the ability to bring comfort and strength to people who need it the most.  If you need help, there is an emotional abuse/crisis text line you can use to get in contact with a trained crisis counselor.  Follow this link or text CONNECT to 741741.

Thank you for reading.  Please don't forget to subscribe and follow me on instagram.

Until next time.

by LifeStyledbyErica

Hello loves! Today I want to talk about something that I think is very important; women's health.  I don't take my health for granted.  I have always been very active and in the past few years I have understood the importance of a nutritious diet and I have seamlessly incorporated a vegetarian diet filled with green juice, veggies and all that good stuff.  The one thing that I have never been good at is scheduling annual visits to my primary, GYN or dentist.  I will admit the times I have seen a doctor has been when I was sick and needed a diagnoses and maybe some meds.  I typically visit a CityMD Urgent Care office.  They are like ER's in that you can walk in, get a number of tests run, get diagnosed, get your meds and head home.  But that isn't enough.



A real eye opener for me was the passing of NY blogger legend Kyrzayda Rodriguez.  If you don't know her by name, trust me you have seen her pictures.  She was maybe a year or two older than me, last October she was diagnosed with stomach cancer after going to the ER with stomach pain and bloating.  She was such a warrior.  She shared her journey with all of us on her blog and instagram account.  She underwent months of chemo treatment, she lost her beautiful hair, lost a lot of weight and in some ways looked unrecognizable.  The treatments took a real toll on her, she was in pain, she was tired, and scared.  But through it all she shared, she inspired and her courage impacted so many lives.  By all accounts, before her diagnosis, she was a healthy, active woman. She worked out, she was in great shape, she was strong, ate right, traveled, I mean she was living her best life.  When she passed away a few weeks ago the blogger community felt a great loss and I felt a personal loss even though I never met her irl.  Her death became a reminder that health is not guaranteed to anyone, it is fragile and something you have to prioritize because in an instant it can all change.  Disease doesn't discriminate, it doesn't matter if you are a mother, if you are happily married, have a great career, you are in your 30's or any other excuse you might make up to justify putting it off.  Her life and what she shared with us was not in vein.  I decided then that I had to change my approach and prioritize regular check ups starting with a visit to a GYN.




First I had to have a real talk with myself and try to understand what some of my barriers were when it came to my health.  I am fortunate and I know this isn't the case for so many Americans, to have a good health insurance policy through my employer.  So the cost wasn't the issue.  I also have paid time off and a great team that will cover when I am gone.  So that wasn't an issue either.  I think a barrier is finding out that something IS wrong is a great fear but that in and of itself is an illogical reason.  Avoiding a problem doesn't make it go away.  I realized another major barrier and a point of anxiety for me is having a male GYN.  So I decided I would do a search for female GYNs in my area.  I was over the moon excited when I found Dr. Suzanne Greenidge, a Black, female GYN with a practice just a few blocks away from home who took my insurance. (Ask my husband and friends, I was REALLY exited!)  Her practice is located on North Broadway in Yonkers and is called, Woman to Woman OB/GYN .  Her website included her bio, I learned she was a receptionist at a doctor's office when she decided she would become a doctor, she is a SUNY graduate (a sister university to CUNY, where I am graduated and am currently employed), she is an author and an all around bad ass.  I booked immediately and the anxiety of having such an intimate examination melted away.

I am happy to report my visit went well. The staff was great.  The new patient paperwork is all done on a tablet (fancy, right??).  I had a pap smear, she checked my breast for lumps, drew some blood to check my hormone levels and my sugar and did an ultrasound to check for fibroids she thought she felt in the examination.  The ultrasound was fine, I don't have fibroids.
Full disclosure: I am a little nervous that I might be diabetic.  I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with my son which is a good indicator of future diabetes, plus my grandmother was diabetic.  I have been dealing with cotton mouth and frequent urination for the past few months. I didn't know if it was due to my diet change since I am now vegetarian.   I disclosed that to her and she thought it would be smart to run some tests.  I have a follow up with Dr. Greenidge in two weeks.  I will keep you posted.  Next on my list of to-do's: find a Primary Care Physician and schedule my annual check up!



Takeaway: Prioritize your health ladies.  We are important to so many people and we can't be there for them if we aren't taking care of ourselves.  I hope my story inspires you to make that call and schedule that visit.




Thanks for reading loves. Don't forget to subscribe and follow me on instagram.

Until next time💋

By LifeStyledbyErica